Howzit. My name is Gir. Here is a bit about me, who and what I am, what I support and like, what I hate, blah, blah, blah. I highly suggest, if you don’t already know me, that you read this and read it well before you even attempt to get to know me. It’s a great way to know what to expect from me and my personality. It’s not that I don’t want to meet new people, it’s always spiffy and I like doing so. It is merely that I don’t want the wrong people wasting both their and my time trying to befriend me for the wrong reasons and under false assumptions.
First off, I am a Pirate, and I am also determined to take over the world. Not in a ‘stupid evil super villain’ way, but in an ‘I am going to rule your world, universe, and soul and there is shit you can do about it’ kind of way. I will turn Australia into my headquarters where I shall rein and rule the rest of the world. All the people I hate will be the only ones whose lives I will truly alter. Out of my hatred for them, they shall be forced to live in Antarctica and eat whale blubber, for those that I hate who are vegetarian; they can enjoy a nice seaweed diet as a substitute. Everybody else, I promise you will enjoy having me as a dictator because lets face it even I am going to be better then Bush. I have a great amount of pride in my Piratey Goodness. I have my wenches, my cabin boy, my crew, and I am their Captain. Yay for me.
I am an Eclectic Pagan. I have been practicing, solitary for the most part, for over seven years. Elements, Astral Projection, and Energy Control are just a few things I have found I have a knack for, though there are others. I am not a Satanic Devil Worshipping Moron. I do not sacrifice little children or animals, nor do I have any support for any whom do. I do what I can to live by the three fold law, the Creed, and the Rede. I do not want or need a book that promises me a nonexistent savior that I do not have any faith in, but I don’t have much against those that do like their little book. Just keep it far away from me. I really have very little patience for Fluffies so if you qualify as one please do not bother me with your precious Silver Ravenwolf shit. I will gladly point and laugh at you extremely hard if you do before cursing you out for disturbing me.
I am “gay”, meaning here, I am physically considered a female and I have chosen to be attracted to, am in love with, and will spend my life with another who just happens to be a female as well. I have nothing against males, I just happen to not be in love with one. I do not need a ‘real man’ to attempt to ‘make me’ “straight”. I am not interested and trust me, chances are if you are males and this is how you think then I am most certain I am three times the ‘real man’ than you will ever be. Don’t even try, it won’t be worth it.
As far as I am concerned, I am 100% full blown Hyrulian. If you don’t know what that means then that means you don’t need to nor deserve to know what it means. But as far as history and scientific genetics are concerned my heritage is quite simple. I am 2/3 Celtic, meaning that that part of me is such a blend of Scottish and Irish that you have to consider them one instead of a mix. The last 1/3 of me is English/Australian, meaning that my ancestors were originally from England, but instead of coming straight to America, they made a detour down under as prison inmates for awhile. Therefore we end up giving with a bit of Aussie that had originated in jolly old England.
I am also a bit of a Bohemian. I love the arts, and thought I tend not to agree, have been told by quite a few that I have talent in them, my specialty being Photography. I am a published artist and have my very own, very pathetic, photography business, EON Photography. All of my friends tend to be just as Bohemian and I try to do as much as I can to help and support them in their chosen art. I am a member of what I consider to be the best damn theater company in existence, The Blue Roses Theater Company, also known as The BRTC. And I am insanely proud to say that I will support the company and my fellow theater geeks with everything before I show an ounce of support for our current president and his stupid mother fucked up war.
In closing I would just like to add that though my temper may be as bad and quick as Hell is hot, I am not as mean as I tend to come off as. I tend to be rather entertaining and funny with my humorous sarcasm when not provoked to be a bad ass. I have a Tokay Gecko named Ryan that I love like a son. I can answer every question in my F.R.I.E.N.D.S. trivia book, and I own all ten seasons on DVD. I am a Creekster, Browncoat, and other fun, odd titles. I have a godson whom I refer to as Bing who is adorable. I have named my film camera and video camera Pam and Chow because I have a tendency to name inanimate objects. I have a weird fascination and obsession with keys and I hoard them if allowed to do so. I have played and beaten every single The Legend Of Zelda game made and will continue to no matter how many Nintendo makes. I sleep with a stuffed dog named Andrew Denny or Denny for short, which I made at Build-A-Bear workshop. I am an adult who still thinks Legos and Hot Wheels rule the universe. I will continue to think that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are the shit until the day I die and quite possibly even after. Link is my baby’s daddy, Wash is my Big Damn Hero, and George O’Malley is now and forever will be my sexy Were-Bunny.
So, if I haven’t scared the shit out of you and you still think I am someone interesting that you would like to be friends with, then go for it. Hell, I’m sure I would get along well with someone as crazy as you who would read this and still want to chat. You don’t have to agree with me on everything, I kinda like it better if you don’t. Just don’t be ass holes about what you disagree with. The best advice I can give you would be to hold your tongue verbally if you don’t want to have to hold it physically. Deal? Shiny.